THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!

Still can't believe I survived this semester it was crazy!! Although it is gonna get worse from here, but ah well I'll just take it one semester at a time, lest I die from depression before exhaustion. Anyway! My last paper didn't go so well. I know because I couldn't complete the paper, but looking around for my friends we signaled to each other the same thing *slit throat/hang self on rope* and this brought me out of my momentary sadness to laughing about it :) And once we left our seats I immediately broke into hysteria about the HOLIDAYS!!! Had so many things I was looking forward to: Jayesslee concert, BTT, Genting trip, Batam trip, time with my guitar... plus the places I planned to visit for yummy food ^^ My friends and I had a good Italian lunch at Italiano Saprano @ UTown! It was surprisingly good~

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Back to where it all began, 37 months ago. :))

I've got so many things running through my mind right now, and I'm not sure how I'm gonna put them all out here.. in what order whatsoever.. So please ignore this post as I foresee it to be quite haphazard, and also I will be talking about something really close to my heart.. (thinking about this "thing" already overwhelms me, so I'm not sure how well this will go down with others hahah). But anyway... Here goes.

28th February marks a very special day in our lives (yuzhi's and mine), and just a couple days ago, we passed the 3-year mark :) More than the length of time we have been together that warms my heart, is how we still feel about each other even after 3 years. I've always wanted to speak(blog, tell someone? idk) about how I feel about this relationship, but I guess I wasn't ready to. Something in me was afraid to, in case it didn't work out in the end.. But here I am today, wanting to share with whoever is here the thoughts I have about these 3 years (and before) being in a relationship. So I think that means something, really good. :)

To me, being in a relationship is not exclusive to the 2 in it only. YZ and I have been blessed with the support and well wishes of our friends all the way, and I can't say how much it matters to us. Right at the start, my friends were there for me. When our relationship went through a rough patch last year, our friends were there for us. And because they knew better, we made it through. I can only hope that I am there enough for those friends who have stood by me through the good and bad. So thank you :)

Of course, our happiness is rooted in the enjoyment of each other's company :) I feel so, so, blessed to have found him. I told my friends that we were lucky that it worked out. Because we weren't very close friends at the start, we only really started seeing each other's personalities wholly until almost 4 months into the relationship. Yes, then, we were madly infatuated with each other and I really cherish those awkward, shy, innocent times. And now, where we are, I find that I have fallen more in love this other person, who, deep inside really isn't very different from who I thought he was 3 years ago. Someone who has become more vocal and outspoken, yet still doesn't know how to express his feelings to me. Perhaps time and honesty has allowed us to see each other in our truest selves and of course, with change, this is why I feel like I see the same, yet different person. And I love this person :)

Because this is the first relationship (and hopefully last hahah) for the both us, there were many things we didn't know. Expectations became a problem when I looked at other relationships and questioned what was supposed to be done or not. But really, eventually you will realize that all that matters is you and him, together. I really can't explain it in another way. Also, romance came into the picture. Now, I realize that romance isn't all about flowers and expensive dinners (although yes I love flowers, but not on v'day haha). Romance is when you can block out everyone else even in the crowdest of places, immerse yourselves in each other's company. It's different for every couple. For us, it's the way we smile to each other with our eyes, hold hands before the food arrives at the table, swing our hands while walking like fools, race in the rain under ntuc plastic bags... It's a feeling. Thankfully, with understanding and compromise, we managed to find our own balance in this partnership :)

For this love that we share, I can best describe it with 5 words- actions speak louder than words. It's always the littlest things that he does for me that I remember and cherish. His hands that hold mine when we walk, support me on the train (awkwardly by the elbows) even though it doesn't really help, his gentle wrap around my shoulder, his warm palm on my aching womb, the way he leads me safely along the road when I'm engrossed in an iPhone game, how he massages my shoulders when I study for hours straight and feel tired, and the way he reaches his hand towards mine to comfort me when there's nothing much to say. This list can go on forever, and I'm so thankful for that. When I am old and wrinkly, these are the very things I hope he will continue to do for me...

And so.. 3 years, and counting. I never expected to have such thoughts. And for whatever good karma I have accumulated, I have been fortunate enough to meet you and step into this relationship. With each day that we remember not to take each other for granted and some faith, our journey will continue... :)

Thank you, for always being there for me, and believing in me. I love you :)

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My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

MORAL LESSON: That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments. "

- from FB

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Today was a day of working out for yuzhi and I! Initially we planned to go for a run but that didn't work out at all, so we ended up doing simple yoga exercises at home. It was fun! Really like how yoga makes me feel. Anyway, later we ran around in great world city and gobbled our meals down in 5 minutes before resting our tired asses down in the cinema to watch Happy Feet 2! It was kind of disappointing, still prefer the first. Too much singing. But Eric was so cute!!! Oh and it was my first visit to great world city! Kinda, because the last time I was there, I was about 5 years old or so... Yeah. It was boring hahaha. The mall was so empty that the air became too chilly!

Marketing meeting tomorrow, then dinner over at dil's place on friday! Just a couple more days before I leave for the glorious Taiwan!!! Gonna miss peterpants though. But then, Erika would have arrived and gimster too!!! Ohhhhh so excited!!! December you are so good to me :)

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After a torturous week, things are finally looking up and I'm feeling so much more at ease and recharged. Thanks to my ever so supportive and sweet peter, and my darling guitar hahaha :) Had a good chat with peter on thursday and met up today! He delivered my Gongcha House Special Green Tea, hehe. Then we had dinner at home and just lazed about! Okay fine we photoboothed for quite a while.. I promised him it wouldn't go on Facebook... HEH HEH.



(ME : HAHA PETER JOKE, PETER: UHHH.....???)

ME LIKA CAMEL, HE LIKA BABOON.

THIS IS THE WORST/BEST PICTURE.
BUT, NOTHING BEATS THIS....................................................

#UGLYLIKABOSS

Those are just some of the pictures LOL. Not gonna post all of them here! Hahaha. Oh and I found another song for my wedding!! It's By My Side by David Choi :) Could totally imagine wedding scenes as the song played :D Peter approved :D Hohohoho. Oh and oovooed my fav girlies yesterday night from 12 to 4am :O It was so fun!! :)) Miss being together so much. Oh and exams are in 2 weeks' time! Exciting, my arse. Anyway, with my  newly found motivation, I drafted up a studying schedule and list of topics. Looks like I'm going to be anti-social for 3 weeks! Hope my sanity sticks around. 

HOKAY, going to Malaysia tomorrow to visit my grandma so I'm gonna sleep now! Goodnight world. :))